The Joy of Logging Off

A reflection on leaving the Internet, rethinking ambition, and returning on my own terms.

I didn’t plan to disappear. My hiatus was supposed to be a break. A little digital exhale. But that breath turned into two years offline, and it might have been the best decision I’ve ever made.

Really long social media breaks are good for the soul.

It started with a sort of digital fatigue. Between e-mails, notifications, and messages, I constantly felt behind (a feeling I loathe). And as a “hard worker,” my default was to push through.

What was once a joyful routine of creation devolved into a anxiety-driven race to keep up. The underlying spirit of my life and work has always been about freedom so I knew something had to change. I couldn’t do great work if I was resentful of the fact that I had to show all the way up to do it.

I didn’t design the grand hiatus. It was supposed to be a few months for me to breathe. But then I kept breathing. And time kept passing. And I waited for that strong urge to return to my digital life, and it never came.

What did come was inspiration and clarity. Time away or ‘blank space’ as I like to call it gives me perspective I can’t get from going 100 miles per hour. The muse rarely visits when I’m scrolling or hunched over my laptop. The quiet time - when I’m doing nothing or taking a bath or scrambling eggs - is when lightning bolts tend to strike. And those lightning bolts are what help me connect dots, discern what’s useful, and take focused action. New ideas had time to take root and sprout. I got clear about what I wanted Behind the Brilliance to be – and not be – in this next chapter. This led to a deep sense of contentment and an excitement about finding that sweet spot where I enjoy the fruit of showing up without burning myself out in the process.

Stepping away from digital inputs also encourages independent thinking. In my TEDx talk, I said we should periodically replace the periods in our lives with question marks, and I did that in a major way during this hiatus. I made changes as a result. Some were totally unrelated like finally fixing my sleep (more on that in a future piece), and others were about work like organizing my work schedule around my energy levels so that I can be more productive and have more fun day to day.

Over time, I realized that it was my approach to my digital life, not the presence itself, that was causing disillusionment. I know how thorny social media can be, but I maintain that our posture, rather than our presence, is often the bigger issue. I reflected on what it would look like if I showed up differently. Maybe that meant caring less about opinions and vanity metrics. Maybe it meant publishing at a cadence that felt good instead of optimized. Maybe it meant curating my digital world for purpose, not popularity. And it definitely meant not needing to know everything happening in the world and releasing the pressure to have an opinion about things I don’t have the bandwidth to educate myself on.

Finding a new creative rhythm means I can ship, produce, and share consistently—without burnout or resentment. I have to maintain my creative vehicle if I expect it to keep running.

Healing my relationship with achievement opened up healthier ways to express ambition. Success, to me now, means being in alignment with my own values and doing my absolute best wherever my feet are planted. That’s liberating for someone who used to measure worth in metrics, KPIs, data, and milestones.

I wish I had more ideas and tools during this time so I’m sharing what helped me. And there’s so much that I have to say and make and do now that I’m rested, clear, and grounded. I’ll be sharing those along with many other things in Cue (my newsletter), on Behind the Brilliance, and on Substack.

The best part is that I’m showing up with enthusiasm instead of anxiety.

If you’re feeling friction or losing yourself in the push to succeed, rest. Step away to figure out whether you need to revamp or pivot. It’s okay to step back. It’s often a springboard to leaping forward. Even if you only take the occasional digital sabbath or brief break, do it. Lean into hearing your own thoughts and experiencing life without the lens of the Internet coloring your perceptions. Magical things await.